


these veins of mine are some sort of fuse

by mambo



Series: child of thanos [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Identity Issues, Identity Porn, M/M, Open-Ended Happily Ever After, Steve As A Child Of Thanos, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, may add more - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 05:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18631393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mambo/pseuds/mambo
Summary: Thanos pulls Steve Rogers from the ice and erases him.Seventy years later, meeting the Winter Soldier pulls him back.(Steve Rogers as a Child of Thanos.)





	these veins of mine are some sort of fuse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hakunahistata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakunahistata/gifts).
  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻译】these veins of mine are some sort of fuse/我们的爱一触即发](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18954655) by [Yueluo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yueluo/pseuds/Yueluo)



> I had this idea of Steve as a Child of Thanos a few months ago but seeing certain things on Friday made me feel like I needed to actually will it into existence, even though this is not the sort of thing that I typically write.
> 
> So much love to [hakunahistata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakunahistata/pseuds/hakunahistata) who has now let me crash in her apartment for two (2) Avengers movies. Perhaps the real canon was the friends we made along the way. Thank you for workshopping this idea for me and for your quick beta read!

He wakes up on a bed. It’s not comfortable, but it’s not uncomfortable. The room is dark but he can hear… something. The sound of metal, maybe. Footsteps. Movement and dripping, simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar.

He thinks… God, his head hurts. It hurts to think. Nothing comes to him. He tries to take stock of his body: he moves his toes, his fingers. His body aches. There’s something in his arm; it hurts when he moves and makes him grimace. But the grimace means his mouth can move. Maybe he can speak.

“Hello?” he croaks.

“Oh, you’re awake,” says a voice in the corner of he room. He turns his head to look at… His eyes widen. He doesn’t even know how to describe the creature in front of him. Purple, he guesses. Large. Inhuman. Unfamiliar. Strange in the darkness of wherever this is but more comfortable in the surroundings than he could ever be.

“Where am I?” he asks.

“You’re aboard my ship, Captain,” he says. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t remember. His brain is a loose sieve, memories falling through as he tries to reach for them. But he knows well enough to keep his mouth shut as this creature speaks to him.

“I think that we can work together. You want to help people, don’t you?”

“Sure,” he says, a familiar compulsion swelling in his chest.

“Captain, my name is Thanos. I am going to help the universe.”

— —

_Seventy Years Later_

— —

“Ready to comply,” the Asset says.

“We don’t have much time.” Alexander Pierce stands next to the Asset, looming, pacing. He does not typically pace while giving orders to the Asset. “The world is in peril, soldier. An extraterrestrial being, Thanos, threatens our entire way of life.” The Asset registers worry on Alexander Pierce’s face, real concern as opposed to the calculated calm demeanor he usually presents while addressing the Asset. The Asset’s hackles rise; this is a real threat. “We hold something he wants — the Tesseract. We cannot give it up to him, Soldier. We have our people protecting the Tesseract but Thanos has sent a soldier down to Earth, a scout. He’s killed three of our best STRIKE team members but doesn’t know where the Tesseract is. You need to find him, soldier, and kill him. Do you understand?”

The Asset nods. Yes, he can kill him. Yes he can do that.

— —

“Hear me and rejoice,” the Child of Thanos says in a bored voice to a group of people standing in a carpeted room in a recreation center in Minnesota. The Asset hangs in the back of the room, having snuck in at the commotion of the Child of Thanos’ entrance, watching as he gathered the group of twenty-six individuals into two groups of thirteen. “You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos. Be thankful that your—”

As a child cries, the Asset runs to the Child of Thanos and jumps onto his broad shoulders, putting a gun to his head. One of the civilians gasps; the child continues to cry. But before he can pull the trigger, the Child of Thanos flings him off and across the room. He hits a stack of chairs hard, then tumbles to the floor. The civilians about to die, apparently, at the hands of the Children of Thanos start to run. Smart. Good tactics. It doesn’t seem that the Child of Thanos is particularly interested in the civilians as they flee the room; his attentions move to the Asset.

“Who are you?” the Child of Thanos says voice… almost amused as he looks the Asset over. “You had me there for a second.” Given that it seems that they have a momentary respite, the Asset surveys the Child of Thanos. The man is about six feet, four inches, well-built and lean. His blonde hair sticks up over a pair of black goggles, not unlike the ones the Asset wears on his missions. But behind the black goggles is a strange blue light. His clothes are all made of leather, thick but supple, and he carries a round, grey shield, a little smaller than a manhole cover. Even if the Asset can’t see his eyes, his smiling mouth and large nose are both visible. He takes one swaggering step forward, then another.

The Asset stands, raises a gun and shoots at his head once, twice. The Child of Thanos dodges the first and blocks the second with his shield, which ricochets off with a ping.

“C’mon now, you’re going to need to work a little harder than that to beat me.” He flings the shield at the Asset, who dodges, stepping out of the way. Still, he can feel the weight of it fly past him, the way the air feels sharp against his cheek as it zooms past his head. It ricochets off of the wall and the Child of Thanos reaches out to catch it, but the Asset grabs it instead, holding it out in front of him, an extra layer of protection. “Oh that’s…” The Child of Thanos stops. He grins. “I’m the Captain,” he says, by way of introduction. “That’s my shield.”

The Asset says nothing.

“Are you here to protect your world?” It’s like he’s taunting him but there’s something friendly and familiar about the way he speaks, about his voice in general. He seems to want the challenge of a fight, but there’s something else there that the Asset can’t place. “You wanna give me that back?” he asks, looking down at the shield.

“No,” the Asset says, voice rusty from disuse.

The Captain pauses, goes very still for a long moment. “I have other weapons,” he says eventually, pulling some kind of a knife out of his belt. As he touches it, it starts glowing blue. “But I like my shield the best.” He pauses a second, resting his hands on his belt buckle. There’s something dizzying about the way he stands, but the Asset cannot place why. “You’re no fun at all,” he says with a groan. 

The Asset braces himself, shaking away his growing uneasiness with the man in front of him.

“You know, you’re the one person who has disarmed me in thirty years? But you won’t even talk to me.” He pauses for a moment, then asks, “Do you know how to?”

“Yes,” the Asset says despite himself. He should not respond, but he does.

There’s another long moment, similar to the one that followed the Asset’s first answer. Eventually, the Captain says, “So you’re just choosing not to engage?”

The Asset shrugs, a barely perceptible shoulder movement.

“I’m hurt, I really am. If you’re going to try to kill me, the least you can do is chat with me beforehand. I like to remember the people who are worth killing.”

“Who sent you?” the Asset asks, though this is not an information-collecting mission.

The Captain perks up, smile growing. “Thanos, my father.” There’s a sense of pride in his voice as he says the words.

“And what do you want?” the Asset asks, though every syllable he utters is weakness leaking from his mouth. He should be killing this man.

“The Space Stone,” he says, seemingly eager to give up information to his enemy. The man is cocky; he assumes the Asset will not leave the room alive, that his information is safely uttered. He is incorrect. “It’s here on Earth and I’m trying to find it for my father. Do you know where it is?” The Asset says nothing. “Oh, you do,” the Captain says, taking one step towards the Asset, then another. “You wanna tell me? I’ll still kill you but I’ll be nicer about it.”

“I don’t know anything about a Space Stone.”

“Who sent you?” The Asset says nothing. “Whoever sent you has it, don’t they?”

“I work alone,” the Asset says.

The Captain looms over him now but the Asset stands his ground. He takes stock of his weapons: four guns, six knives, a machete, and this shield. While the Captain may be a little frazzled over the loss of his favorite weapon, but the Asset is sure that he’s more than skilled with anything else he may have. His whole body moves with violence in a way not unfamiliar to the Asset.

“Take off your mask,” the Captain says, voice going cold. “I want to see your face as you die.”

The Asset shoves the shield forward, pushing the Captain back. He pulls out his gun and takes a few shots but the Captain is fast, dodging them before they hit. The Captain ducks down and kicks the Asset’s legs, trying to destabilize him. The Asset jumps to avoid him, but the Captain is up in a flash, coming up behind him and putting his knife to the Asset’s throat. “Don’t make this too easy for me,” he says and it almost comes out desperate.

The Asset will oblige him. He uses the shield to knock the Captain in the face and the Asset can hear the Captain’s goggles crack. He spins and knocks the Captain in the head again with the shield, then uses it to knock the glowing knife from the Captain’s hand. Finally, he uses it in the same way the Captain did earlier — flinging it hard towards the Captain. It hits the Captain square in the stomach, and the Captain grunts. But before the Asset can retrieve it, the Captain grabs a hold of it. He smiles, then looks up. One bright, unearthly blue eye looks out from the crack in the goggles. “That’s better,” he says.

The Asset should shoot, he knows that. But that eye startles him. It’s not human, but it is…

Familiar.

The Captain’s smile fades and his voice retreats back into desperation. “You could join us, you know. If you tell me where the Space Stone is, I’ll take you to Thanos.” The Asset says nothing. “We are tasked with a glorious purpose,” he says, almost pleading. “We are saving the universe. You’re strong. You could help.”

“I don’t care about the universe,” the Asset says, then shoots the Captain in the face.

He dodges just in time, diving for the floor. But he’s up as quickly as he went down, tackling the Asset to the ground, pinning him. The broken goggles slip off of the Captain’s face, revealing both of those blue eyes, piercing, crazed. It’s a handsome face, the Asset registers distantly. It’s a face he does not want to fight. “Who _are_ you?” he asks through gritted teeth. He takes his knife and plunges it into the Asset’s right arm and into the floor to keep him from moving. Despite himself, the Asset screams. “Who are you?” the Captain yells, the vein in his throat pulsing.

“I don’t _know_ ,” the Asset spits back, trying to kick his legs, to get out of the Captain’s hold, though he knows it’s useless to fight.

The Captain rips the mask off of the bottom half of the Asset’s face; it’s not gentle. He looks at the Asset’s lips, down to his chin. “Why?” he mutters, putting a hand on the Asset’s cheek for a moment, those strange blue eyes staring. He breathes hard, then removes the Asset’s goggles, revealing the whole of the Asset’s face. “Who are you?” he asks, voice breaking, his eyes bearing into the Asset’s.

The Asset says nothing. If this is how the Asset dies, so be it. It feels as though this is how he is supposed to go. He could not bring himself to kill this man, so it is right that he should kill him.

They stare at each other. The Asset’s arm throbs. And then the Captain says, “Your face is in my dreams.” He looks ill; his voice is rough. “I reach for you but I can never hold you.” He moves a shaking hand back to the Asset’s cheek. He strokes it, gently this time. The Captain stares at the Asset like he’s precious, like he’s the only thing he wants to see for the rest of his life. Strangely, the Asset stares back at him, much the same. “How are you real? How are you here? Who are you?”

“They make me forget,” the Asset admits. “I don’t know who I am.”

“He made me forget,” the Captain says. “He plucked my life from my mind. I don’t know who I am, either.” His eyes dart down to the knife still lodged in the Asset’s arm, the blood spurting out of the wound. The Captain pulls something off of his belt, a device that he holds up. “It will hurt, just for a minute,” he tells the Asset before pulling the knife out of his arm. The Asset winces, whimpers. “Shhh,” the Captain tells him, but it comes out kind. There’s a click from his device, then a whir. Moments later, the pain stops; the wound is healed.

The Captain pulls himself off of the Asset then, pulls him up so he’s seated, legs stretched out in front of him. The Captain situates himself the same way, facing the Asset, their torsos close together. He reaches out again for the Asset’s face; the Asset keeps himself from flinching, though he itches to shy away. A habit from years of harm. But the Captain’s touch is tender, his strange eyes watery. “I have searched lifetimes for you.”

“I don’t know who you are,” the Asset says, but his body betrays him, inching closer. The Captain leans forward, pressing his forehead to his. “They don’t let me dream.”

“I won’t let anyone touch you again,” the Captain says, suddenly fierce. He reaches down, putting a hand on the Asset’s thigh. He squeezes just shy of too hard. The Asset does not want him to let go. “Thanos told me to ignore my dreams, to ignore _you_ , as if I could. He was wrong. You’re real. You’re here.”

“Where do we go?” the Asset asks.

“Thanos will not stop searching for me.” He exhales. “Nowhere is safe.” He smiles. “So I guess anywhere is fine.”

Words stick in the Asset’s throat. This man’s touch is more real than anything he’s ever felt. “Don’t stop touching me,” the Asset says.

“I’ll kill whoever tries to make me.”

The Asset shakes. The Captain strokes his hair. They sit there for a long time before the Asset says, “Let’s disappear.”

The Captain agrees.

— —

“Your name is Steve,” the Asset tells him a few nights later as he strokes his blond hair. It’s early morning, before the sun has risen. They’ve been sharing a bed in a motel somewhere in the upper peninsula of Michigan. Neither of them sleep much, but they try. The Asset never remembers being happier in his life, though flashes are starting to come back to him with each day he’s removed from the cryochamber and Hydra.

“Is it?” Steve asks. His eyes glow round in the room’s darkness, a beacon in the night calling the Asset back to him.

“What?” the Asset asks, bemused.

“Steve is so boring,” he says, wrinkling his nose.

“It’s you,” the Asset says, moving so he hovers above him.

“You need a name,” Steve says. “If I have to have a name, you need one, too.”

“I’m a ghost.”

“Boo.”

The Asset rolls his eyes. “Don’t mock me.”

“Never,” Steve says, pulling the Asset down by his shirt for a searing kiss. When the Asset pulls away, Steve says, “In my dreams I call you Buck.”

“Buck?”

He nods. “Buck. I call the word again and again. Buck. Buck. Buck.” He holds onto the Asset tightly. “Bucky,” he says with certainty. “I can call you Bucky.”

“Bucky,” the Asset repeats. “I can be Bucky.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was gonna be a one-off but... part two is already up. Go read it!!! If you wanna chat/go salt mining together, you can catch me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mamboao3). Also, go follow [hakunahistata](https://twitter.com/hakunahistata)!!!!
> 
> You can also spread the good word about this fic by [retweeting it](https://twitter.com/mamboao3/status/1122513046553997313).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Captain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19886341) by [deisderium art (Deisderium)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deisderium/pseuds/deisderium%20art)




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